the unexpected turned to expected

After last Thursday's Culture night, everything seems to changed. Everything that I used to thought before seemed to shift to another direction. Remember I mentioned bout my priorities? Oh it has not changed though I mentioned to someone that I wanted it so badly that I would quit anything and everything for it. Nevertheless, I still stick to my original "plans" in life. Firstly, I must complete my bloody arts degree at the end of this year. I thought of staying on in Melbourne after studies but I guess I have second thought now. Deep down inside me, I don't want to get my PR and job here though I told many people who asked me what was my plan after this. I felt as though this is not the place I would settle down and move along my life. Thus my second plan is to travel around the world and perhaps explore more cultures and its people. I love doing this for sure... I don't know I'm living a carefree life or I'm just being individualistic. Somehow, if my parents were to support what I'm trying to achieve here, it would be less of a problem. Maybe I'm thinking too much or I'm just being obedient. I don't think I'm happy with what I'm doing now though you might always see a smile on my face. I'm not being fake or an idiot of myself... rather I'm trying hard to like what I'm doing for myself. But it looks like I'm doing all these for other's sake.. which most of you would think... "come on gal, think for yourself"..."follow what your heart says"... or... "do what makes you happy". Words are easy said, but it's harder to do it. Sometimes I, myself being contradictory. Say it but do another thing. *sigh* I think I wasnt't following my heart as much as I could have ... that would be the most appropriate reason for why I'm not "being myself". I want to be happy. I really want to. Perhaps I'm also looking for something that I don't know whether it would come reality. For now, I know some unexpected things that happened recently became expected =]